Topic of the Week: Do you have to play games to make a relationship work?

Last weekend on my show the "Topic of the Day" was: Do you have to play games to make a relationship work? And from what people tweeted and Facebooked in and told us was NO! I think when people play games it may be for a lot of different reasons. You have 1.) They use it as a safety mechanism so they don't get hurt. 2.) They don't know what they want. 3.) They try to weed out the phonies and fakes.


Take the first example, they use it as a safety mechanism so they don't get hurt. Some people have been hurt so many times that they don't know how to perceive others. It's so often that people play so many games that they mess with a persons head that can damage their relationships in the future. Leading them to have insecurity issues, lack of trust, fear of commitment, etc. Then you have, they don't know what they want. Those people are just a bowl of confusion but they don't know it so they get other people all mixed up in their drama. Instead of being upfront with a person about what your intentions are they try to hide them by playing silly games. No one benefits from it and it can lead to too many emotional casualties. Last but not least is the, weeding out the phonies and fakes! I want to say that this can be a positive way to play games but I'd be lying to myself. When this happens its sort of like a game of elimination and the person who survived all the shenanigans is the one who truly wants to be with you. Sick and kind of twisted maybe but for some folks it works for them. Think about it, nobody is going to stick it through with someone unless they really want to be with them. It's the people who only wanted to possibly use that person for something that leave. My question is though, how do you know how long to keep the games going until you're just left all alone playing by yourself. What about when that person has proved themselves, do the games continue?


If you ask me being upfront is the best way to be in a relationship. My mother always told me, "start every relationship the way you want to finish it." Meaning, be upfront with your feelings and expectations in a partner. Don't be a push over because you feel like if you say something the relationship will be over. If that's the case the relationship wasn't much to begin with.